Life's a wonder..

stupid useless crybaby

2011-12-22T18:37:00.000-08:00

I thought I have grown-up.

I thought I could do better... to be independent.

I thought I was a strong...or at least could be strong enough to not break down.

No.

I was wrong.

Turns out that...

I'm still that stupid useless crybaby all along.

The devil's child

2011-12-13T00:17:00.001-08:00

just as i was blogging about it. then it gets worse.. fantastic.

>:'(

2011-12-12T21:56:00.000-08:00

I HATE MYSELF. LITERALLY.

MY PRESENCE ALWAYS BRING BAD LUCK TO OTHERS.

IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN.

EVERY TIME I TRY TO COUNTERACT IT, IT JUST GETS WORSE.

UGH!

IF YOU ARE SMART, U WOULD STAY AWAY FROM ME!!

trash can

2011-12-10T19:16:00.000-08:00

Hello hello

Long time no see. I know i haven't been entering enough posts to say that Im still maintaining my blog but as if anyone cares. I KNOW NOONE READS MY BLOG ANYMORE SO HAHAHAHA I SHALL SWEAR AND UNLEASH THE WORST SIDEA OF ME HERE! F***YEA! LOL. jk. That's not me. *shy* <--Wtf?!

Ok that was a horribly lame introduction. Forgive me :)
What i really wanna share here is how unhealthy im becoming :( i just keep eating and eating and eating... what's wrong with me?! :( i think i have this 'excessive eating disorder' or what ever you call it cause i just kept on eating :(

Its like im eating out of boredom... maybe i should do something else to keep my mind off food. but so far, i only have interest for movies and dramas and they are not helping me stay away from food :( Ahhhh!!

Im a stupid trash can :(

Sad sad face.

i realise i blog with no structure anymore. whatever. Its not like anyone really reads it anymore.
I miss home.
I'm so random.
I say bye bye.
BYE BYE!

Mumbo Jumbo.

2011-11-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

I really don't understand what's wrong?

You and mood swings come and go like crazy.

Why do I have to put up with all your shit?

Who do you think you are?

So what if you are older than me?

Have you been acting like you are?

Have you behaved like you are worth my respect?

You make me feel like I'm your assistant? secretary? what ever it is... NO! I'M NOT!

Why is it that when things are not going right the fault is always on me?

Why can't you realise you might be the wrong one?

You start "lecturing" like how you hate to be lectured, and you dare say how you hate mum for always nagging you? GOOD. Now you are just like her. Instead of how you said you'd torture your kids for revenge (how stupid), congratulations, I feel like you have diverted that attitude to me. AND OH HELL, I HATE IT.

Have you ever realised that its your problem why you think she nags you too much?

You don't see me complaining about how she nags me, do you?

You want respect from me, but have you ever respected me?

What have you done to to deserve my respect?

I've always been giving in to you since young; have you ever realised and appreciated them?

I know you have your way to show your love to me, buying stuff for me, giving me things. but you don't understand I don't need those kind of love. I am not that kind of materialistic person. You can't BUY my love for you. I WANT EQUAL RESPECT.

Don't go all "this is the way I am, i change for no one" BULLSHIT.

If you continue on living your way your style, you know you'll be surrounded by people who TOLERATES you, not really LOVING you for who you are.

I don't say things to your face because I'm giving you the bullshit respect you want me to give you.

I admit I cant put up a well enough debate with an angry heart, I don't speak well when I am angry. But when I end it that way, it does not mean that you have won, so you don't have to show your shitty arrogant victory face, that only makes you look ignorant and stupid and my respect for you drops below that of what you have earned.

See how I angry I am at you right now?

But let me tell you, no matter how angry you have made me (no one has ever made me as mad as how you've made me, you know you are significant to me), I still love you. I don't hate you because you always make me angry. Think I'm bullshitting? Well, I can only say I am unlike you.

I know throughout your life, you have hated me numerous times. I know. I am not dumb. I'm not gonna hate you just because you hate me. I still love you because I know who you are to me. I don't HATE family.

I don't understand how you can go about hating the closest comfort you can get. HATRED is a very strong feeling. It grows on you. DON'T HATE YOUR FAMILY. You don't know what goes on behind the covers. I can say you're the luckiest one amongst all of us. Appreciate it. SHOW THAT YOU APPRECIATE IT. Don't expect us to know how you appreciate from the heart. TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WANT TO BE TREATED! Hierarchy doesn't come in play like that. Don't abuse the respect I should have for you.

If words can be spoken in more gentler ways, don't choose to say it in ways that makes people uncomfortable. We hate it as much as you hate it. The world doesn't revolve around you. You know it, and you understand this. But please put this knowledge into practice and don't make people feel like you're so self-centred.

Waking up to reality

2011-11-06T01:13:00.001-07:00

All that I fear would happen, has finally happened. What can I do now? How I wish for a miracle to take place right now...

Content? a word easy to use, hard to practice.

Isn't that always the case...

no love from

.581_

Who am I?

2011-09-24T21:21:00.000-07:00

ITS BEEN A WHILE I KNOW! My blog can practically be dead if i don't come back and update it.

It's a Sunday today and I'm doing my assignments and preparatory work for next week's classes - my usual weekly routine here (Perth) this Sem. It has never been like this tho. That is, compared to when I was back at home - Brunei - because no matter how big an exam there is the following day, I would never NEVER miss out on our family's traditional Sunday FAMILY DAY!! Really can't wait to go back for this again! :))))

Then I started thinking about the kind of Bruneian I actually am (cause yea, although we're all living in Brunei, the things we do can still be totally different). What do we actually mean when we say we are "Bruneians".

Let's see... We(I) are(am) typical Bruneians because:

1. We love going on road trips. Destination - not so important. What's important is the moments u spent with the people in the car ;)

2. We wake up too late for breakfast. hence.. (see 3.)

3. We go for BRUNCHES (breakfast+lunch. Even after lunch hours, cause we r gangsta like that 8P)
It can be anywhere really. From the luxurious Empire Hotel and Country Club to the old-school but nonetheless oh-so awesome worker's canteen (it closed down now but THANK GOODNESS that we can still enjoy this Ocean Quarry kolomee in many outlets :') )

4. Nothing's more important that our limteh/yumcha sessions (tea) - especially true for procrastinators whose job allows them to do so ;P Again, it ranges from the extremely cheap but mouth watering to cozy, comfy, country-English style cafes such as the Country Patch.

5. We drive to places that we can reach in 5 mins. At fuel prices of $0.53 per litre, who wouldn't? :P (yes. we are very spoilt)

6. We have a town but that's not where the most happening place is.

7. We NEVER take public transports. - But I did! ONCE! and am proud of it! ^^

8. Food, Car and maybe phone. Can die without it.

9. We love our nature hikes! Omg, how i miss hiking at Tasek Lama and Bukit Shahbandar and feeding the monkeys! - No Cost!

10. We might move to another countries but we'll eventually come back again.

Ah, those were the days. ok... gotta get on with my ass(butt)-sai (屎)-men(闷)s now.

Toodles!

R.I.P

2011-07-04T17:24:00.001-07:00

My Frog Prince died. T T

Goodbye. :(

I'm gonna have a short life. (cont')

2011-06-21T17:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, it had been a week or so since the last post (the one that I said I'd continue). Took me some time, but oh well. I do apologize for that tho.

Truth is that there was just too much to do since I've touched down in this Abode of Peace. But let's not dwell on what I did. I need to stick with my topic!

Yea, as I was saying... the suffocation was so awful, i couldn't even sleep laying down. I had to sit up until I miserably fall asleep in that posture. I slept SITTING UP. Yes. I'm not joking. It was quite comfortable tho. Or am I just weird. But yea. That's just how bad it was. But thankfully, everything is back to normal now that my routines are in order again. ^^

ok... I actually had more to say, but seriously, I FORGOT. So, sorry! Don't throw eggs at me.

Love you. Bye!

I'm gonna have a short life.

2011-06-14T00:34:00.000-07:00

I have trouble breathing properly these days. And I think I know why.

1. I've been over-eating.
(like still idiotically stuffing myself with food even after I felt full. cause I don't like to waste food = =)

2. The weather turned cold.
(don't know if this contributed to my degrading breathing ability, but yea, I blame the weather for everything. )

3. I don't exercise.
(BUT, I DO sweat, which is healthier than not sweating at all right?)

These are the possible reasons I can come up with but, I'm not really sure what REALLY caused my constant suffocation.

Last night was the worst. I couldn't even sleep because I can't gasp enough air. Well, at least I THINK I wasn't filling up my lung.... (to be continued. cause I gotta run for now. kthxbye!)

Lesson learned.

2011-06-13T06:09:00.001-07:00

It is not right for one to expect anything from anyone else.

One should always be prepared for the worst.

One should choose to sacrifice him/herself instead of others.

This is just so YOU can be the BETTER person.

0:)

I'm glad to have realized that today! V (^^,)

SICK!

2011-06-10T04:50:00.000-07:00

MAN~ I'm so sick of studying right now!!!!!!!! Not just studying actually. I simply can't find the motivation to do anything now...... D: I need some excitement! D;

Inspiring.

2011-06-08T21:50:00.000-07:00

I can't remember anything else that is much more inspiring and motivating than BB.

Although I sound like a crazy fan-girl (very unlikely of me, I must say :\), but they seriously dared me to dream my wildest dreams. Even as much as to the extend that I really want to make these dreams of mine come true.

Whether or not they can be successful, I couldn't care less. At least, I know that I'm enjoying what I'm doing. :)

Fingers crossed I won't lose this enthusiasm too soon. O.O

Dream dream dreams

2011-06-08T07:15:00.000-07:00

Since I have started having such big dreams, maybe its time I put the effort into making 'em come true! :D

Yes, This is it.

2011-06-08T04:09:00.000-07:00

Yeap. Exactly. um hmm. OK!

My Space!

2011-06-08T01:28:00.000-07:00

If I were given an empty room that is big enough, I'd put up full-length dance mirrors on the whole of one wall and equip each corner of the room with loudspeakers. It will have microphones & everything you need to make mind-blowing music, so my peeps and I along with people who have similar interests can do some serious dancing and singing!

On the other wall, I'd like to have rolls and rolls of giant sized papers that can be hung from the very top of the wall. It's gonna be where we can splash buckets of paint and work with truck-load of spray-cans just to unleash our wildest thoughts in incredibly large scales.

Wooo, it'd be cool too to just make the other wall plain white so a projector can project stuff on it. Then we can have endless movie times!

What an awesome room that'd be?! Sigh.... it's gonna be just another dream... until I get to achieve it! ;)

But the only question is HOW?! D:

STUDY STUDY!

2011-05-31T06:21:00.001-07:00

OMG, how do u focus???

I can't concentrate on my studies cause keep having the urge to check FB and YouTube.

Gosh!!

Maybe I should just not turn on my laptop until after my exams.

Damn uni. Why do u have to make somethings accessible only thru the internet =_=

I can't possibly last a day without turning on my laptop x((

Aaaahhhhhhh~ I'm going crazzeeeh!

<3 _581.

The unfocused.

Vita Dolce.

2011-05-30T23:35:00.000-07:00

As promised, I'd show the finalized work for the drawing below...

-Before-

-
And, here it is!
-After multiple modifications-
-
-
-
Vita Dolce - italian for "sweet life" or "good life". It is one of the tattoos he has on his arm, and it must be something everyone is working towards consciously or sub-consciously.
-
I figured that, upon reaching this "vita dolce", not only does one have to go thru several phases, but sometimes when they get to tired, it often results in the release of the "other" unseen side of themselves, be it good or bad.
-
In this picture, my intension was actually to show how there are often different sides to things, in this case, different sides to people. The one who may seem to be bubbly and cheerful could very well have this inner "demon" in them that's just desperate to come out. However, it'll be pretty daunting to others if they just suddenly change their behaviors and become a totally different person. Hence many would prefer to just express their "inner demons" in artistic ways, such as in their music, artworks, or anything else, really.
-
Well, at least, that's my interpretation of things. Maybe I'm like that. And maybe I'm not. ;)
-
Anyway, the picture didn't really turn out to be what I really wanted it to be. Sorta haven't fully expressed the "feeling". It looks weird. :( But I guess I shouldn't spend so much time on it since there are lots of exam revisions to be done lately.
Maybe I will do something more when I finally become jobless again :)
-
But for now, see ya!

<3 581.

Remember back in those days?

2011-05-28T07:48:00.000-07:00

I might not be Picasso, but yea....

These are my little artworks since 2008! Not much for 3 years because I only draw occasionally when I feel like it :)

Starting from the earliest:

hahaha. trying out my sketchbook with random things is see.

seriously, bored to death.

my sister's neutral look :P

Somethings are just meant to be.

-Part of my wonderland-

When I feel all jumbled inside, I simply lock it up!

I wished I had my own room :|

-Mother nature-

"Who will save her if we don't?"

For school's wall painting back in '09

she's falling '10

-We are one-

My most recent piece of work.

AKA my boyfriend. :D

It's not really complete yet.

Cause it didn't turn out the way I wanted it too.

Will update the finalized one if I remember :)

.581_

Dream + Courage + Determination = Success??

2011-05-27T00:58:00.000-07:00

How many people out there have got the GUTS to get off their life's ordinary track in order to do something EXTRAORDINARY, especially when that SOMETHING is something they LOVE?
-
And how many have decided to GIVE UP on their DREAMS just because they THINK they're UNACHIEVABLE?
-
Then again, how many of those who had the guts actually succeeded?
-
Is it a guarantee that "dream + courage + determination = success" ?
-
-
Could it be just a crave too difficult to satisfy?
-
-
To sum things up, I just realised I'm just a damn coward. Are u one too? :\
-
:(
-
Sincerely,
The chicken.

CAUTION: HOT CONTENT AHEAD!

2011-05-12T04:00:00.000-07:00

I simply love them <3 I dont generally like guys with eyeliner nor was I really into KPop. But they are the exceptions cause yea, i'm shallow and bias. HAHA!
Stay away! They are MINE!!

Love,
the me who likes hot guys. :)

Kaile Goh - Gold (acoustic) ft. Paul Dateh & Ken Belcher

2011-04-09T02:12:00.000-07:00

erm... :(

2011-03-25T03:41:00.000-07:00

... JOKING!

I'm so glad!

BEEEEEEECAAAAAUUUUUUSEEE.....

I ACED IT! :D

ok. bye. x)

Hello.

2011-03-20T05:23:00.001-07:00

Can we talk next week?...

=)

Don't give up on me. (crappy post)

2011-02-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

I heard a song a while ago and it talked about not giving up on someone. This got me thinking....

I've given up on truck-loads of things since I was young. There was swimming, piano, dancing, the thought of learning martial arts, the idea of rekindling the friendship flame with some old friends etc. I wonder if anyone had given up on me before :S

I feel like I've always tried my best in things I considered "serious" in life - my studies. Studying was...NEVER...a thing I'm fond of. And it still isn't, mind I tell u that. The only reason why I never gave up on it was.... well... I don't like letting people down. I keep having this idea in my mind that if by any chance I fail (not saying I never failed before) in any of my major exams, I'd shatter the image my parents have upon me. I'm too afraid that they will hate the me that would dissappoint.

Don't get me wrong, I'm actually somewhat a rebel too. I'd like to try that out, to tell you the truth. It'd be fun to see their reactions. But risking having to study for another year is just a thought to difficult to bare. That's why I never had the guts to do that. Plus, the possibility that they might hate and look down on me. yeah, I'm gutless.

hmmm.... I'm going a lil off topic I think. But the whole point is that........ I DON'T KNOW HOW I'D BE IF I REALIZED THAT SOMEONE ACTUALLY GAVE UP ON ME :(

so... "don't give on me babeh~"

Song: For The First Time by The Script.

Me or me?

2011-02-17T07:25:00.000-08:00

Since I've finally settled most of my uni stuff (long story short: it was a very complicated process - from enrolling to registering into classes. But I won't go into detail bout that. Boring thing to blab about.), I had some spare time up my sleeves to do what adolescences, like me, do best; think bout things that doesn't really matter but somehow does in some ways. Sounds complicated, but basically, it's just random thoughts going thru my brain, which sometimes even I, myself, get confused over.

Being the self-centered person that I occasionally find myself being, most of my queries, honestly, only revolve around me. For those of you who don't think of me as a self-centered person should maybe read on to find out more about me, or should I say... to find out about the other side of me.

I don't know if this is how the average person behaves, or am I just one green pea trying to find my place in a pile of blue beads. Anyhow, I simply can't help but to think that I actually have split personalities. Maybe it's not a very serious issue... Maybe it is... Maybe this is how everybody else is.... With all these maybe's I had to kill some brain cell coming to the perfect conclusion. Therefore, I hope I can share my jumble of thoughts with all of you.

Once upon my life, I realized I liked ghostly opera musics that u can sway your souls to, I liked to feel the mysterious silence and darkness especially when I'm alone, I liked the creepy little portraits that screamed lonesome, pain and evil! That was the time when creepy porcelain dolls, that are so perfect they'd give u nightmares, would be the perfect gift for me!

I liked pretty much all things "dark" back then, just as much as I would like the happy, funny, and "brighter" side of me anytime. It's pretty confusing for me cause I can't really figure out which kind of me is the "real" me, cause both my interests were so distinctive. Maybe they both described me... Maybe one of them is just who I wanted to be but I was only afraid that people would regard me as "weird" for being like that... But they are all just maybe's.... I was just thinking... "maybe". However, I eventually grew scared of the kind of creepiness I liked, hence I decided to bury that darker-side-of-me, deep deep underneath the multiple folds of my brain.

But after these few years, just as I was about to completely forget about my "dark sister", she seem to have already disintegrated and somehow fed herself to my surrounding brain cells. All of a sudden, I realized, I am still fond of what I used to like - lonely songs filled with unbounded emotions, eerie animations by Tim Burtin... And yes, my affection for porcelain dolls grew even more!

This is when I began to doubt the "me" I always have been. Could all those be just the kind of person I wish to project upon other's impression? Was that even who I really am naturally? Should I give up and become the creepy kind of me I am? Or have I put on the mask for too long, it has now been deeply-rooted into my bones....?

At the same time, questions like these came rushing into my brain....
...All this while...
...Could I have been just a quiet person who is just used to being loud/hyper?
...Could I have been just a selfish person who tries not to be, for the sake of good conduct?
...Could I have been just a rude person who embraces politeness just to please?
...Could I have been just be a devil trully in disguise?

Well, i was thinking I might be, because...
I hate snobbish b****es but occasionally acts like one for fun.
I hate gamblers but tolerates and plays along just so I do not kill joy.

These are just like how I think much of my little creepy thoughts but only spoke rainbow words instead just as to go with the flow.
But... when I do speak of my creepy thoughts, people would usually just freeze and stare.
That is when I would just have to explain that I was just joking.

I do not believe I'm mad, nor do I believe I'm a true devil.
Being the brighter-kind-of-me never really felt like pretense at all.
They felt real. They felt sincere. They felt just like they are really meant to be.
Maybe, just maybe, I simply like being both kinds of me.

Would this be considered as having split personalities? I would most likely be using different sides of me to face different kinds of "you's".
But, in the end, whichever side of me you've met is still considered the real me right? So should I even bother deciding whether or not to hide whichever side of me?

...I guess not. As long as they feel right, that would be the me you'll be receiving.

So don't be surprise if u come to hear a whole different "me" in the future...

... cause there are many... many faces of "me"....

Hugs and kisses.
.581_

This is me.

2011-02-17T04:06:00.000-08:00

"Crying doesn't mean that I have to shed a tear."

So true, so me :)

NOOOOOOO~

2011-01-21T16:12:00.000-08:00

GOOD GRACIOUS!

I am leaving so soon. NOOOOOooooo! I haven't even get to see all the people I wish to see... ...

I know, I know. It's taking me milleniums to meet up with so little people but...... but....

I have no good excuse.... Just slaughter me and feed me to baboons! x

On the bright side of things, I'm going to UNI! *HA HA IN YOUR FACES!* So excited to experience such a different environment! It's like going to an exotic country. oh wait, I am. hehehehe. I am v. v. v. happy :) (pffft. what a snob im being.)

Then again, I really like how comfy I feel at my REAL home now.... :\

Hmmm...How I wish I can have the best of both worlds huh. Oh well, life's not always a bed of roses,right? So guess, I'll just have to treat this as a temporary departure from wonderland then.
Me done babbling. Me gotta get back to work. I know right, I actually have work to do. hahahah.

So,like, Tigger always says....TTFN!
[oh, I miss dumb dumb winnie the pooh. "TRESPASSERS WILL" hahahhaa. Only pooh freaks like me would know what I'm talking bout here ;) ]

What are u doing? Nothing.

2011-01-14T18:55:00.000-08:00

It felt like I've gone missing in action for a loooooong time.

Truth is, I was lazy.

No, I was busy.

Maybe, I was a wee bit lazy too..

No. Really, I was really busy!

Busy being lazy, that is.

NO! pfff. I was busy doing.... something....

What? Course I can't let you guys know what I've been up to, other than constantly watching pointless ~~fallopian~~YouTube videos.

But, I'll let ya'll know when the time comes.

For the time being, I'm gonna continue ignoring Facebook + MSN messages. I think I've even ignored a few text messages.

I know I'm weird and rude.

BOO YOU!

Don't hate me cause I'm "just the way you are".

Bye Bye! =)

:(

2010-12-23T22:36:00.000-08:00

I'm miserable.

I'm unhappy.

I'm down.

I AM SAD!

Because I capable of LETTING PEOPLE DOWN!

Merry Christmas's Eve!

But I'm still sad. Make me happy :(((

Forget it. There's nothing in this world that could make me happy.

I should just dissappear into thin air so people can live happier.

A Sense of Achievement

2010-12-08T20:55:00.000-08:00

Recently, all I wanna do is.... NOTHING.

However, I was told that I can't ACHIEVE anything if I do NOTHING.

But, I do like the satisfaction feeling you get when you ACHIEVE something.

Therefore, I had to convince myself that I am really ACHIEVING something.

So, I discussed the following with myself (I'm nuts like that 8D ).

"If I can't ACHIEVE anything, then NOTHING can be ACHIEVED.

Since I ACHIEVED "NOTHING"...

...and that "NOTHING" is actually SOMETHING (even EVERYTHING) according to The Theory and Operation of a Phase-Conjugated Vacuum Troide (Floyd A. 1988),

hence, I have really ACHIEVED SOMETHING!"

Ok, I am delighted now.

Back to moulding for me.
ByeBye.

-No, I did not read the whole The Theory and Operation of a Phase- Conjugated Vacuum Triode.-

2in1

2010-11-26T22:41:00.000-08:00

WHHEEEEEE~

"...I'm leaving on a jet plane

Don't know when I'll be back again...."

Yes yes! I'm gonna be gone for a few days starting tomorrow. I know it has only been a while since I've been back from down under but I must say, I'm pretty excited for the trip we're going on this time. It really has been a while since my family and I actually had a family trip that actually involves the family as a whole (we're lacking just one member this time tho)! I hope we'll get to have tonnes of fun and that it would be one that is memorable.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

at the same time....

Not just child abuse, basically we should stop all domestic violences!

Stop hurting the ones that love you.

Stop hurting the ones you love.

Don't take your family's love for granted.

Don't think that all of what you have now is meant to be.

If not,

one day, when your family finally leaves you,

you'll find that eventhough you're living among hundreds of people,

you're still feeling extremely lonely,

because...

... none of these hundreds of people will love you as much as your "family" would.

Think before you do.

Don't let there be things that you would regret doing one day.

HeartAttack

2010-11-24T23:48:00.000-08:00

Seriously, I almost suffered a heartattack when I accidentally clicked on "save" while I was trying out new blogskins. Iwas so close to having to announce the death of my blog if I wasn't able to retrieve the original HTML of it. Ok, that was a little bit exaggerated. Maybe it didn't really have to die, just that I had to create a whole new look for it. Tho it wasn't how it looked like originally, but I still managed to make it look similar, right? No?? Well, at least I am satisfied with it.

Anyway... PHEW!! what a relief man! :D

Right! While I was browsing for a new header (for the was-to-be new look of my blog), I came across a few pictures that tickled my funny bone.

Here they are!

Hehehehe.

ok. Im ending suddenly AGAIN!

BYE!

I HAVE ....

2010-11-23T16:22:00.000-08:00

...gained a new knowledge this morning!

" 囧 "

Do you know this chinese character??

If you do, good for u. :( Cause I DIDN'T!

Apparently it's pronounced as "jiong"

which actually means brightness or whatever it really means.

(Yea, yea. I know my explanation sucks but WHATEVER~)

囧 has however became a symbol used casually in cyberspace to represent the facial expression that looks just like the word itself.

The using of the word 囧 for the way it looks like instead of for its meaning is exactly the same as the use of "Orz".

For those who couldn't figure out, Orz is basically a person banging his head on the ground.

(After finding this out, you can now show me the 囧 expression!)

To tell you the truth, I think 囧 is very much like -_- The only difference is that 囧 has an open mouth.

(Another 囧 moment)

I've also found a whole list of such expressions on the net with their respective meaning.

Some of them are honestly quite funny. :D

Here they are:

囧rz - man banging head on floor with THE expression

冏rz - 囧rz 's wife

崮rz - King of the 囧 kingdom
莔rz - Queen of the 囧 kingdom

商rz - A 囧rz with a bamboo hat

orz - The child.

OTZ - The adult.

OTL - means totally disappointed/depressed.

or2 - orz with a huge butt.

or2=3 - He farted.

Or2 - Big-headed, small-bodied, huge-butt person.

Or? - Same as above. Awkward tho.

orZ - Big bottom.

oTz - This must be a weight lifter.

Orz - Big head.
●rz - A black orz.

Xrz - orz head explosion.

6rz - The wizard (more like the bunny)

On - The baby.

crz - this is a bikerider.
卣rz - 轰炸超人 some superhero I don't know of.
曾rz - 假面超人 again. I don't know who he is. Help me!
益r2 - The invincible iron king i.e. 无敌铁金刚

口rz - Mr. Tofu.

_Drz - Juicy brain explosion.

prx - orz with long hair.

@rz - A blurry orz.

srQ - Orz facing the other side + licking the floor.
圙rz - an old 囧rz (because of the wrinkled face)
囼rz - Eyeless 囧rz
囜rz - eyeless and mouthless 囧rz
圀rz - 囧rz with a crooked mouth
囶rz - A speechless 囧rz

or7 - Sharp ass.

Oroz- Orz with a tummy.

and etc.

Boy, this was tiring.

That's all for today.

Bye.

Back!

2010-11-15T23:09:00.000-08:00

[unposted for a week.]

First thing's first. My blog keeps speaking to me in Malay.

Ignore the stupid doodling underneath.

I was just having some childish fun.

TEEHEE!

(Ryan Higa craze :D)

WHY??

I'm not trying to sound racist, but I'm just wondering why. Why it starts by talking to me in Malay?? Why it then becomes English again once I sign in? I don't get it!!

U R SO WEIRD BLOGGER!

Ok. Enough ranting (rant. Ryan rants too! 8D) about blogger.

Let's talk about me! x)

Yes, yes. In my world, everything revolves around me!

My head is so high up in the sky I can't see anyone else (8

Nah... it is my blog isn't it? Of course it's gonna be about me.

Who else is it gonna be about?!

OMG, I'm sounding as big-headed as ever.

This is not good. =\

Ahh.. I'm going off topic... AGAIN!

I should actually be announcing my return to Brunei :D

I'M BACK PEOPLE.

Ok. That's it.

I'm done announcing.

Bye!

I don't know why_

2010-11-07T04:23:00.001-08:00

But I just love this song.

A break from breaking.

2010-10-19T07:57:00.000-07:00

BEWARE! DAMN LENGHTY POST AHEAD!

Hello minions.
I know. It's rude to call my readers minions but doesn't it just make us feel closer? X)
Haha, I don't know about you, but I like to give my close ones (of similar age) rude names. Okay, they mightn't be rude but... they're basically just not "nice". But so far there are only a couple of people whom im not being nice to. You guys know who you are! :D

Anyway......

As my title states, im currently having a break from all my backaching studyings. Yes, for the first time, studying meant breaking my poor back. I felt so darn tired from studying that I even had suicidal intentions. You must be going, " GASP?! She wanted to suicide?!" Nah, don't worry, I haven't gone that insane. Haha. Keep reading on and you might just find out what exactly I did! :D (way to create suspense for my un-attention-attracting post ey? ;D)

Physical suicide? No, I don't have the guts to do it. I prefer to let nature deal with one's life and death. For those awful few days where I really felt like I couldnt take it anymore, I kept having this scenario playing on a loop in my brain. I really liked for nature to simply allow a reckless fool to just hit me with his/her car when I just so happen to be crossing the roads to or from college. Even if it was gonna cost me pain and sufferings or even my life, I couldn't care less because at those moments, I was just too reluctant to face another one of those papers that I mightn't be all that prepared for yet. It'll give me such perfect excuse to not be there for the exams! But oh whao, just so I know, I don't control nature. It's a good thing tho, cause I know I'll regret it so much in the end. Anyhow, there are just exams, right? It's not like they should make me wanna die anyway. I'd be too much of a coward if I couldnt even face EXAMS.

But, honestly, for now, exams are kinda a huge matter for me. Not wanting to sound nerdy, but what else is there for me to care if everything else in life has already been so well prepared for me (as much as i wish to be independant, im just blessed to be able to be less independant sometimes. :P). I'm thankful that I'm lucky enough to not have to worry about all other stuffs in life. However, sometimes it becomes very easy for me to overestimate the impact exams should have on my life and hence allowing such "imaginations" to grow in my head because of it since other things in life weren't my priority yet.

Sometime these crazy thoughts do creep into my mind but fortunately there are other things that could pull me away from the hands of Lucifer. I thank the video posted by charity : water that broadcasted the how kids from struggling nations travelled miles away from home just to get water. The saddest part is that the water they were retrieving weren't even clean water! Those were unsaved dirty swamp water they were travelling hundreds of kilometers for. Sadly, it's either that or no water at all. They didn't have any other option. God bless this generous dude who started charity : water who exchanged the chance of receiving gifts for his birthday for donations from people which would go 100% to drilling wells in these nations to allow their people to finally access clean water. The idea might still be vague to you, my apologies for that. You can log on to www.charitywater.org to get a clearer feel for what is being done to help these people tho. I registered to be a member but have zero idea what I can do to help. Maybe you would consider joining too?

Back to the story. The video. It was inspiring. It was motivating. It gave me strength to study again. I'm not exaggerating. The feeling was really like drinking energy boosters for me and I wished I was part of the project. It made me forget about my back pain as it wouldn't be anything compared to the things people there are going thru. And so, I put every distraction (facebook) out of my track and even managed to finish by 10.00 pm. It was truly a miracle as I thought I needed to burn the midnight oil to study for the two major papers I had for the following day. Really reminded me how we have to be grateful for what we have here and now, that video. It truly saved me from my reluctance to study. :')

Tada, i made it thru the last day of sem 2 exams and still surviving till this second despite the puffing and sniffing that still lingers me since the 2nd last day of the exams. It's not gonna stop me from enjoying my break from all the studying. I've got lots to do before the start of my next wicked revision session. Hehe. Will try to keep ya'll posted on what's going on in my uneventful-but-not-boring life (like u guys are interested? :P) as much as possible. Till then!

A song that I'm curretly indulging in : All Night Long - Alexandra Burke. Hope you guys like it too! :)

Failure!

2010-09-11T05:03:00.002-07:00

It's only now I realise that the famous 911 is also the birthday of my old friend!
haha. Happy Birthday to her! :)

.ah yes_

It's gonna just be another random post! :D

.here i go_

I wanna go to London, Spain, France, Egypt, Brazil, Bali, Tahiti etc and take pretty photos.
I wanna be able to do stuff I don't know how to do now, creating awesome shortfilm/animations.
I wanna earn my own huge money before some time of my life.
I wanna find someone I really like.
I wanna always do crazy stuffs with my besties.
I wanna be who I wanna be.
I wanna be the director of my life.
I wanna have such life experience before I die.

But first, I have to pass my bio test on Monday.
*faints*

Bye bye.

Failure!

2010-09-11T05:03:00.001-07:00

:)

2010-08-29T01:45:00.001-07:00

The little tiny things you do can leave me smiling like an idiot.

It might just be a thought in my mind, but.... :)

Lily Allen calms my mind!

You might think I'm random. Actually, I'm just good at changing topics.

Ciao!

One day, I'll be sitting with you outside a cafe on the streets of Italy listening to Lily Allen :)

Exactly what I think!

2010-08-20T06:09:00.000-07:00

Yes, this song I'm about to introduce y'all is exactly what I believe love should be like. It's like an idea that compliments the similar idea I developed from watching 泡沫之夏.

This brilliant song is...
.
.
.
.
.
"JUST THE WAY YOU ARE - Bruno Mars"

Youtube it yourself. I'm lazy to upload :D

Ciao~

~

2010-08-15T02:29:00.000-07:00

Gone with the wind.

2010-08-14T00:08:00.001-07:00

"I couldn't really recall when exactly you've stepped out of my life.
I'm not even sure if that's what you've did.
All I know is that I don't feel you anymore.
Guess it's true what I've always known - nothing lasts forever.
I just thought you'd be there to prove me wrong.
But now that I realize that wasn't what you would do,
I think I should just wave goodbye."

The debate

2010-08-01T05:48:00.000-07:00

An artist painted himself one day. As he finished, a picture of him and his work was photographed.

Interestingly enough, the artist was so good, the photographer got confused.

He left us all with this question that could still not be answered till today.

" Which is the artist?"

95.9 Pilihan FM

2010-07-22T05:18:00.000-07:00

I nearly broke into tears when I finally succeeded tuning into my old time favourite radio station back home - "Pilihan FM". It mightn't be the greatest station (or is it?), but I just love listening to it. It's one of the million things I grew up with. And maybe because of this, it makes me feel miles closer to home, listening to the familiar voices of the occasionally hilarious DJs, might I just stress Izan and Frankie. ;)

And oh yeah! The broadcast also reminded me that it is the week we celebrate our dear Sultan's 64th birthday. Daulat Kebawah Duli Taun Patik! I've never been so patriotic before... or have I, since I'm so in love with NBD? His Majesty is said to be the kindest country leader ever, making it an annual thing to celebrate his birthday and festivals with his people - Bersama Rakyat, the way we'd call it back home, where he would make efforts to visit his loyal subjects in nearly every district. As for Brunei Citizens (one of the things I wanna work towards), what more can they ask for? Free educations, medical services, not forgetting bleeding low house rentals for the needie, are only the few privileges to mention. "He's really the people's king! For being so kind and caring to all his rakyat (his subjects)," exclaimed an Indian doctor as I'm blogging my affection for my home country.

Aww, I just can't resist showing how much I miss my country right now. Just listening to the interviews between the DJs and the passer-bys at the celebration, I can imagine how wonderful and friendly the country still is. I can't wait until the day when I finally set foot on that peaceful land again!

Love,
581 of Brunei!

P.S. For those who wanna try net-radio-ing Pilihan FM :
http://www.rtb.gov.bn/RTB_City/02_NetRadio/PilihanFM/index.htm

New beginning. Not.

2010-07-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

It's only the first day of the new term and I already feel like dying. Reasons are because 1. I have start waking up darn early again. 2. There's a ridiculously large number of tests/tasks awaiting our death next month. 3. I have less time to lay back and do nothing 4. Decisions have to be made ASAP regarding tonnes of headaching stuffs. Ugh, and my eyes are soring now. Guess I should stop blogging. I know this is a weird end for this post but oh well, ciao!

Recovery of my poor finger!

2010-07-18T05:40:00.000-07:00

I burnt my index finger with boiling water the other day. Thank goodness its recovering.

2 days after burning it. Old and wrinkly looking.

Peeling.

Considerably recovered :D

Red~!

:D

Discontented.

2010-07-07T07:41:00.000-07:00

I want a haircut!
But how should I cut it?

Ughh!
I seriouy am bored and have noone to talk to.
:(
*rolls eyes at my life*
Please, anyone, just talk to me if you happen to read this.
Thank you! :)

The Agony.

2010-07-07T05:29:00.000-07:00

I'm officially calling tonight GuiltNight.

Why?

Cause I'm just too guilty for empty-headedly stuffing myself up eventhough I know I'm already bloated.

"When can this nightmare end?"

love,
Chocolate-stuffed.

What has she been up to?

2010-07-06T04:49:00.000-07:00

"Someone told me you died, bloggy.
How could you leave without saying goodbye?
I thought we share everything together... ='( "

LOL... emo much.

The truth is, the demon from the examination council has only just now decided to set us, the poor knowledge seeking peasants, free from the wicked self-destructive act of cruelty, aka studying for exams. ;)

Haha, I have totally no idea what's gone into me. But it seems like I'm gonna be a little theatrical in this post. Just bare with me for a lil', if only you do wanna continue reading that is.

Ah, with exams, of course, would come some time where we all would procrastinate.

The way I do it tho... well, I basically did everything there is for me to do that could keep me from touching those horrific books. I washed the sheets, cleaned the house, and even went to extend - wiping every little thing in the entire house until they were literally spotless. All just for the sake of not wanting to face the revisions needed to be done. And they call me hardworking? No offence, but I'd doubt their logic after this.

Included in my days of procrastination, were numerous strolls from somewhere to nowhere. Pictures of those days were taken and hence would be shared with all to observe.

(Photographs are not arranged in chronological order.)

Bridge. Lake. Autumn leaves.

Crow sighting bread piece.

Crow stealing bread piece.

Trail of Bread
_to lure the crows.

Still water held in safe arms of the leave.

The mixed community.

Glitzy corpse.

The Green Army.

Purple's the colour.

The culprits.

_was so busy taking pictures, lost track of Judy.
.Can you spot her?_

Taken in a hurry

We are the Graffidiots =P

Painting the walls green....

....slowly.

So hence, it's name.

The singapore "ong lai" look-a-like.

Ain't any ordinary lab door.

The close-up.

>> A cute laboratory door<<
Guards of the future.

As stated_ The Golden Gift.

One cold night.

Photo-mania.

Maple syrup needed.

Meet the fans session.

The trio in Perth.

Wildlife on the track.

Investigation #only1. Bread+mould.

The unexpected visitor.

Frozen at room temperature.

Crepe_french style. @freo

Old is Gold.

The innovative breakfast.

Snow hot from the oven.

was rushing as I was writing those captions. Apologies for any un-clarity.

Just before I end,

*When I get older, I would be stronger~ Everyone's in the FIFA fever ,but I'm not. I'm more outdated, I'm into GossipGirl :D*

So you would know me further in depth for now =]

Like she'd go....

XOXO,

You know you love me. xD

mood-swings

2010-06-08T06:58:00.001-07:00

My mood's so out of control tonight. Was all the emotions, sad, annoyed, grateful, satisfied, lonely, and now I' magically glad! Guess my ecstasy worked ;) No, dajie, I'm not dealing with drugs. Don't bother telling mami x)

Today will also be the day I say goodbye to my friends the moulds! BYE BYE.

And now I gotta say BYE BYE to u'all too cause, Guess What? I've got school tomorrow! (haha, sounded like my maths teacher there. Btw, she dumped us for the role as head of department. Just our luck, new teacher and exams are closing in. :S )

Bye Bye beautiful world :)

Back and Forth

2010-05-23T01:48:00.000-07:00

When I was heading "home", I saw this!

Was alone. Really bored.

-

Then also saw something I never seen before in my life when I came back to Perth.

Smokin' drain!

Autumn in school.
-

-
The meals we had these few days. Japanese style!

Western_japanese udon?!

BatmanButterfly_sushi

ah~ The sushi we made today!

Okay...

Just wanted to show some pictures.

Hehe.

I've got Bio to revise

*sigh*

Ciao :)

Two layer socks.

2010-05-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

I know. I know. I haven't blogged since the stone age. Am I suppose to apologise? If I should, I'd end up apologizing in every single post. That would make my blog DULL and BORING. You wouldn't want that do you? Nah, no need for sorries. I guess you'd get the message that I'd only blog when I want to. Teehee! x)

Yes. I'm wearing two layer of socks now. It is that cold. A trip back to Brunei and back to here again, and the weather changed that much. Or did it change even before I 'ran' back? Omg, I lost track. Oh well, the main point that I'm trying to make here is that it's COLD now. 3 degrees and we had to walk the distance to the bus stop. Had to bear with the stinging cold the whole morning and night from now on. I want my mummy :( [Yea, yea. I'm clingy to my mom. So what? I love my mummy x) ]

Ah, sad to say, but unfortunately, tests and asssignments are starting to pile up again. Hadn't had the time to blog lately because I was honestly that busy with school work. Wow, my life's pathetic~ I didn't even had the time to go on Facebook for the past few days. I thought I felt as if something was missing. It appeared to be Facebook. I still find it a wonder how Facebook could become such a huge part in so many people's life. Is that good or bad?? I'd say it's better off left in the grey zone, to not raise arguements, that is. ;)

---------------------

I don't know what or how it happened, but, I'm starting to value very much the company I'm always having for all my life. I could not imagine myself surviving anymore than 24 hours being all by myself. The thought is just unbearable. Have I been less independant? I mean, how can anything be enjoyable if your doing it all alone? Well, maybe playing those very addictive games could be, but I'm not really a game person, therefore, I'd die being too lonely! I'd like to thank everybody who's constantly by my side, whether it's just randomly chatting crap with me, or just sparing some time to check how I've been, I really apppreciate it! Love all of you guys :) Especially Ting Ting, who is really always with me, chasing away all those lonely moments!

Love,

.581_

Sick

2010-04-30T06:31:00.000-07:00

I'm down with a sore-throat and flu. Was that fever? Dizziness was felt during the last lesson just now. :\

Get well soon.

xoxo.

You were wrong~

2010-04-23T01:07:00.000-07:00

Woohoo~

I had a late night last night.
ErJie treated me to KellyClarkson's All I Ever Wanted Concert @ Challenge Stadium!
It was awesome. I have nothing to compare it to, so yea, you can say it was awesome.
:D

I got to know two other artists as well who were on tour with Kelly. One was an Australian musician, Cassie Davis and the other one was Eric Hutchinson. They were both terrific! Now my head's stuck with this song from Cassie Davis, No more. Give it a listen, the melody is so catchy, you might end up liking it too :)

Her other hits are Like It Loud and Do It Again. They're all quite up-beat. Keeps people awake :D

No More - Cassie Davis

Oh No.

2010-04-19T06:42:00.000-07:00

Today's a Monday, the 19th of April, 2010.

Tomorrow will be a very awful day for a lot of us schooling kids because we have to GO BACK TO SCHOOL. Sad isn't it? :''( I'd added an additional tear drop to show how upset I am for this.

The holidays had been quite enjoyable for me although I didn't manage to do much with my mates here. Rephrase: I totally didn't get to do anything with my mates here! Boohoo. Why is that so? Well, most of them had gone back to their hometowns, leaving only a miserable few here back in Perth. In addition, the weather enjoyed during this term break was horrible. If it wasn't too cold, it kept pouring unexpected showers. Tsk tsk tsk. I wanted to go back too. But things just didn't quite fall into place because of a few this and that happening. Sigh~

I'm so not looking forward to tomorrow :(

Hmp.

On the bright side, I might actually get to spend my days with much more purpose. Faster too, hopefully! If I'm lucky enough 7.30 might even show up ;)

Haha. Me and my crazy mood-swings.

Woo! Woo! I got praised by Ting Ting for the delicious dinner i prepared x) So happy to be praised by this fussy critic! It looked awesome too, fyi. Haha, however, no pictures of the dinner were taken. Oh well~ At least it was liked :') (There was also the tuna noodle from 2 days back, yesterday's marina mix noodle and the mushroom and bacon pasta of today's lunch. All made me have delicious meals for 3 consecutive days! Total awesome-ness. I is HAPPY!)

To sum up today's post...

Well, you've read all the things I had to blab about. There shouldn't be a need for me to conclude anymore ;)

I'll just end this post with a photo of my uber cute niece!

xoxo,

581

Feed me depressant

2010-04-17T04:05:00.000-07:00

I want stuff. I want! I want...

MUMMY!

n HOME!

NOW!

Where's the fast forward button in life?
I wanna skip to the end of this year to another long holiday at HOME! :)

I'd be anywhere if that is where home is.

Mummy loves poh yik!

Ting ting hates bao yi :(

Bao yi loves everyone! Cept ting ting. Wahahahahahaha~

I am THAT bored right now; 7.14PM, Saturday, 17th April, 2010.

Determination.

2010-04-16T05:14:00.000-07:00

I will have determination.

I will have the mind set.

Everything will have to fall into place.

Then can I succeed.

xoxo,
581

On ond Off Showers

2010-04-15T04:44:00.000-07:00

I'm incredibably glad that all my holiday homeworks are finally completed and cleared away from my desk! I officially have 5 more days left to live my holidays stress-free! However, there's still an extended task to be researched on for dang-it Human Biology. It IS to be covered within 5 weeks but, I guess the reason for why the lecturer gave this task before the holidays is for it to be prepared during the holidays (in order, to not clash with other school works maybe?) Anyhow, I believe I won't be the only one who hasn't touched that task. But, if it makes my lecturer happier, I promise to flip thru the net to research on it whenever facebook dies ;)

Very true. I cannot believe the amount of paper I've used to complete the homeworks just for 2 subjects.

Earlier on today, I suffered depression because my fav. white jumper shirt got dyed in the wash and I cannot blame anyone but myself :( I didn't really bothered to check whether other clothes' colours ran, and just idiotically threw the whole load into the machine. The unfortune just had to happen, so it resulted in my shirt being dyed. I tried rescuing it from appearring unsightly by bleaching it :D It kinda worked but there are still wee bits of yellow stain on it, quite unvisible however, phew! Well, from now on, imma just stick with my method of doing the laundry: whites with whites ONLY!

Another thing that made today quite the remarkable one is "My sister and I succeeded in making ourselves extremely bloated by whatever the genius she cooked for dinner. Seriously. FULL. Delicious tho =P"

And oh yea, I've also discovered that I need to have a daily dose of "happiness" to start up my day the way it should be, up and happy-like! Cookies are what my doses will be for these certain period of days. x)

Who loves milk and cookies?

Santa Clause and I !

Ciao~

Drizzle.

2010-04-13T01:20:00.000-07:00

Productive day!

-Woke up at 8.30 am.
-Cut nails.
-Vaccuumed.
-Mopped.
-Showered.
-Had breakfast.( Koko Krunch! x)
-Watched "How to Train A Dragon"
-Bought house stuff.
-Had tea. ( Chocolate Milk and Muffins without tea.)
-Went home.
-Kept stuff.
-Facebooked a bit.
-Chatted a little bit.
-Prepared dinner.
-Showered.
-Ate dinner.
-Blogged.
x)

Ting Ting wants me to blog about her.
I agreed so, here it goes.
SHE IS SO STRESSED SHE WENT BANANAS!
Then, i had no choice but to eat her up fondue style x)

Love u Ting :D
.
.
.

I didn't write this. Im complicated?

2010-04-12T04:57:00.000-07:00

"It's clear now.

You'd never be the one.

We can't get thru the slightest disagreement now, neither will we in the future when things might get even uglier.

I should not stop for you anyhow."

WOW.

I sense 'uh oh' O.O

But I don't think you would.

"Bet you would not get any of these, cause ,to you, this is just another one of my silly old crap.

Thinking things wil be alright after forgetting bout it?

NO~!

Apparently, I get to understand more of the kind of person you are through every one of my silly old craps.

Mind I tell you, analysis shows that things will never work right.

I'm tired of needing to make everything soo obvious.

I don't wanna have to tell you what I needed.

It's not how I live my life.

Apologies.

See ya around, mate!"

Chilly.

2010-04-11T21:48:00.000-07:00

I've just finish watching "My Sister's Keeper".

I hate it cause it made me cry.

It makes me wanna love my sisters even more.

I miss my family. :(
When can everyone come together again?

Bao Yi misses home :(

Dreams

2010-04-11T07:10:00.000-07:00

A is awesome this way but awful that way.
B is perfect that way but not sure whether it will be the other way.

B is all C ever wanted,however,it is still out of reach.
A is right there but conditions there kept falling.

C has to make a turn, either left or right.
C couldn't decide.
C turns off the engine.
C will have to wait for better conditions to surface at one of the sides until it can make the next move.

C puts hope on B.
C dreams of a day that B would make progress.
But C can only wish for now.

Hopefully the unseen side of B will be toleratable, so C won't feel wasted.

wish hard.

This week

2010-04-09T04:38:00.000-07:00

This week!
Aunt Angela came to Perth to deal with her citizenship thing.
We spent most of half of her time here going places.
Most obviously we SHOPPED!

Couldn't resist the temptations so I bought myself stuffs too, one after promising myself not to get another one. x) But all's well, cause I believe they were quite good buys!!

At first, Judy and I baked a cake, so we asked them to come over to have a lil taste.
We ended up having plans for the next few days of our aunt's presence.

The next day, we went to a park really near where we live to have a picnic!
Totally enjoyed the whole preparation time xD

Then we went to the Perth City, Garden City, random places and Fremantle!

Fremantle was today!
And we got to see this really pretty lil' girl who i assume look like Anne Hathaway :D
Observe~

Serena Rosemary

My fav. shot!

Never stopped moving.

Never stopped laughing too. x)

Tryin'a hide away from the camera.

H2O time.

She had the coughs.

Lil' poser.

Tongue-out.

Her fav action. xD

A video of her.

Ain't she the prettiest lil' girl you've seen?!

xoxo

I'm off now!

Cheerio~

Easter Yesterday

2010-04-04T02:47:00.000-07:00

HappyEaster!
-

Painted these eggs for our relatives.

A watermelon.

Blue with a ribbon.

Heffalump!

A nut!

BEE~ Mummy x)

Carrot? Perssimon? Tomato? U decide.

LadyBug! SQUASH.

ELMO!!

Elmo didn't wanna be alone.

So Blue transformed into CookieMonster to be with Elmo x)

The EggFamily@mydesk.room.au

A reply to melli-poo:
Oh Mel! I miss you so~ :') I definitely miss our lil' talk sessions as much as well. ;)
If only we can have tat again!!
OMG, just reminiscing tears me up. But they're all good tears. Good tears :"))
(and... 7.30... x) hope u get me. )

Today,

we went to our auntie's house

and made cakes and omelletes for a picnic

we later had picnic@Miles Park.

Enjoyed the whole time there.

All smiles today (=

Hope everyone's in an awesome mood today!

Ciao~

Depresso.

2010-04-02T04:32:00.000-07:00

Hello,

I am bored.

Talktome.

If only 7.30 appears in front of me and starts giving a damn about me :O

Hahaha.

What can I do to get some fun here?

Where's my sketchbook?

What do you do to become beautiful?

I like that watch.

Where's romance de amour on the guitar?

I miss hugging my mummy without having to have a reason why.

Where are the interesting stories from dad?

I miss watching tele with the whole family.

Where's that screaching baby?

Where's Happi and all her questions?

Where's DaJie and her "yumcha" mood?

Where's that soft silky skin?

Where are all those laugh-out-loud moments?

Where am I?
-
-
-
-
I'm not home.
.
.
.
.

:'\

Today

2010-04-01T06:31:00.000-07:00

It's the last day of the term! Gaytime x))

7.30 failed to show up. :

I will plan my holiday tomorrow :)

I'm Turning 17

2010-03-31T06:22:00.001-07:00

Turning 18 :D

Astonished. Mischieves.

2010-03-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

I was trully astonished by the difference make-up's have on certain girls. Salutes all the way!

-

Shayma. Shayma. Shayma.

Engineer. Engineer. Engineer.

Willieton S.H.S Willieton S.H.S. Willieton S.H.S.

Good person. Good person. Great personality!

That's all I could gather.

No, I didn't stalk~ I just eavesdropped x)

I'm still wondering whether I interpreted that view correctly. hmmm...

Will be on the 7.30 bus again tmr :)

(:

2010-03-27T00:03:00.000-07:00

What a day to take things slowly and just enjoy the view~ :)

Gone wrong.

2010-03-26T07:08:00.000-07:00

The dissappointments have been piled up.

You noticed no change in yourself.

You see me worse than bad.

You failed to notice little details.

You need sugar!

I wonder if you would ever understand me...

....
....
....

I wanna see 7.30 :( I wanna know what goes on in the mind.
Will you be it?
Only once this week. 25th March, 2010.

笑不出来.

______life continues______笑 :[]

It's all about...

2010-03-26T00:22:00.000-07:00

the ATTITUDE!

Woke up

2010-03-25T04:55:00.000-07:00

1. Time. Not adequate enough to be wasted. I will learn to move fast.

2. There really can't be so much to complain about. Satisfaction has to be learnt. I will reduce my complaints.

3. The feeling pain. Recalling only amplifies it more. I will choose to think of other things.

4. Compliments. Won't lose nothing giving this out. I will give more compliments.

5. Why amplify yourself? I will try to live my life quietly.

From now on, I will.

2 more weeks!

2010-03-20T23:41:00.000-07:00

Two more weeks till I can finally take a break from these horrifying "busi"ness.

Tests every week. Don't think anyone will enjoy that!

But just thinking about the holidays just makes me X) like when I get to have chocolates~!

Btw, I got this caramel cake for a really good price. The whole cake for only $5.60, and mind i tell you it tasted fantastic!

What imma do during the holidays? I don't really know yet. Had plans to hang out with them "lou yao" here, but then again, I'm eager to go back to where my "home" is. Well, just have to see about that then~

Will be catching the 7.30 bus again tmr :) .full of wonders_

Will anything actually happen? hmmm... hopefully it'd be a good something!

Toodles :)

The 7.30 bus

2010-03-19T00:16:00.000-07:00

Drained

2010-03-12T02:36:00.000-08:00

Yes. Drained. Well drained, are all my energy.

Reason: the thought of having to have 3 tests on monday.

It just drains away my soul.

Homeworks are finally in moderation maybe because they know we are already having hard times coping with the 3-tests-day issue.

Plus, have been working non-stop on school work(studying). Hardly had time to do personal stuff. But am constantly finding "bits" of time to sneak away to relax for a while. =)

The internet speed went really down all of a sudden these days. It affected my speed too?

Just can't wait till the holidays can finally be here!

Good luck refilling my energy.

It's new!

2010-03-08T02:59:00.000-08:00

Notice the whole change I made to my blog??

Like it?! Like it?!

I love the whole feel of it!!

Feels so grown up yet not too mature with that dash of comfortable-ness, no?

Just love the way the whole thing turned out =)

Incredibly over what I was expecting it to be!

hehehe~

=)

Evolution

2010-02-28T05:05:00.000-08:00

It's funny how things changed time after time, even funnier when u realised you've taken a hop, skip and a jump back to square one!

I've just came to realise a fact! Way back when I was in early primary, when we had to write compositions on what our ambitions were to be, I decided that I wanted to be a scientist. But as time gradually passed, I found that rather out of reach for me knowing my own abilities and unwilling to stress myself so much, so I didn't think much about that and took a turn to the art side of things. But look at me now! :D I'm actually on the route of becoming someone science-y like a scientist! (that is if I don't fall into any gaps in between this pathway to "impossible") haha...

Or am i not thinking right? hmm....

Life and it's unexpected! =))

Never.

2010-02-20T23:59:00.000-08:00

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got that whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

My mind is gone
I'm spinnin round
And deep inside
My tears I'll drown
I'm losin grip
What's happenin
I strayed from love
This is how I feel

This time was different
Felt like I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm in this condition
And I've got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what, you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed
'Cause it's hurtin me to let it go
Maybe cause we spent so much time
And I know its no more
I should have never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us part
I didn't give it to you on purpose
Can't figure out how you stole my heart

How did I get here with you I'll never know
I never meant to let it get so personal
And after all I tried to do
To stay away from lovin' you
I'm broken hearted I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry~

-581-

The Blind Smile.

2010-02-12T04:58:00.000-08:00

As the doors to the upcoming chapter of your life opened, you struggled, with so much concern, trying as hard as possible not to be in others' way as you made your way through the uprising crowd going towards similar destinations. Every single move you've made, you had to sense so considerately with your extended metallic arm, not expecting aid from anyone else, as it IS usually accompanied by luck.

Aware or not about the hundreds of focuses on you, slowly, yet intendedly, you twisted the ends of your lips delicately upwards, which to observers was obvious, that it was filled with much uncertainty and fear. It was as if you've sensed compassionate smiles that never were visible to you, that's why you triggered your smile. Nonetheless, all that was actually in front of you were just puzzled faces filled with questions towards your unpredicted action.

It might be because you didn't want people having, in their hyper-active discriminating minds, impressions that you were anyhow alien by the way you had to move and was trying to make peace and harmony. It might be because you were afraid you weren't smiling back to the person who was kind enough to smile to you too. Or, it might be because you were making the most of you efforts to project politeness towards the compassion you sensed people around you was generously giving you, which to you was undesireable. Maybe, that was why doubt filled your smile.

Whatever the reasons are behind your motivational smile (it got me thinkin' a lot, seriously!), I do hope that the life you possess is a remarkable one and may heartwarming smiles from deep inside your heart outshine your smiles of tremble.

May god bless you.

(Not the time to be religion-ist)

What's my college like?

2010-02-05T03:30:00.000-08:00

Let's see, it has been.... *calculating...* ONLY 5 DAYS since I've been to school?????

My gosh, it really does feel like I've been to school for ages now = =

Well, for those who want's to nose around my business here in new-city Perth, I haven't been doing much actually. I've been enrolled to this college called Canning College, just beside Curtin University and the ~~subjects~~ courses I'm taking are ELACS (English Language and Aboriginal Culture Studies) Module A & B, Chemistry, Human Biology, Mathematics 3C/D, and Mathematics Specialist 3C/D.

Uh huh~ A total of 5 subjects, but I might drop Human Bio or Mathematics Specialist if they get too hard tho, because they are not one of 'em pre-required courses to be able to study Genetics and Biotech. Only able to drop 1 tho, cause I need a minimum of 3 courses excluding ELACS (cause it's compulsary).

This whole week meant nothing else but school, and school works. Yeap, already had work on the 1st day, it's like they start late but they gotta rush everything now = =

I doubted myself in my first Chem class, thinking I doomed cause I was no where as fast as this two girls sitting beside me, but it turned out that I'm considered normal phased, they are just too genius! WHAT A RELIEF!

Plus, i pity the other classes who got really slow teachers, cause I got a taste of how it felt like having one for my first Chem class because we got a windows98-speed-substitution-teacher for my permanent teacher who had to attend a funeral ( so soi man! ), and it was z's all the way. He's boring! Not to mention, he kept up with the geniuses only. THANK GOD HE'S NOT TEACHING ME!!

However, our permanent teacher's really strict on a few things, like mobile phones, puctuality, shoes ( we need to wear closed ones for all science subjects) and whatever. But he's nice, the kind of teacher I wanted :D Happy happy HAPPI!

Other courses were ok... Oh! Let me tell u more about the school system!

We got to go to the course's respective rooms every period! No lockers! Meaning, we have to carry the heavy bags around for every period like crazy. Not to mention, if we have afternoon classes, we need to bring our own food cause the cafeteria food sucks till ugh.. donno how to say. haha... So, long lines at the microwaves every lunch.

But the good thing about this school is that we international students get to use this ISO (international student's office). We can refill our bottles not with tap water but filtered water, get to use the fridge there, get to hang out on the caoches there, get your mail there, ask for help and yada yada yada~ :D

Well, that kinda sums up what I felt about my ~~school~~ college (need to get use to that!) these 5 days. I might have a change of mind some time later. Will, try to keep my blog alive too, but looks like A LOT of people do not blog much nowadays. Can we blame facebook and twitter for that? LOL. sui bian la~ :D

Ciao beautiful people!

Picture Post.

2010-01-31T02:09:00.000-08:00

Just updating pictures. Lazy to tell stories =)

The 10 of us less one.

A Joey!

Contact.

Lunch done for the wi-fy fi.

3 sisters (powerpuff!)

It's Australia's Day!

Me and my erjie.

My erjie and my sanjie.

Me and my sanjie.

Cheese~

The buildings.

Plus the moon.

With another person.

Without me.

Here we are again~

Weehee~

-End-

Orientations!

2010-01-25T05:30:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone!

I'm officially back from Canning College's 5-days-long-Orientation and I dare tell you it was AWESOME!

I got to meet SO MANY people from all over the world. Well, they're mostly from Asia but, who cares, still a very big part of the world!

That was actually the best part of it. There were some other activities the college planned in conjuction with this orientation in order to make the whole thing more enjoyable.

We, of course, get to stay over, not at Canning but at Trinity College tho.

Other stuffs were like, shopping, tours around the college and universities and the wild life Carvesham Park!

We also did this little gathering dance called the "Bush Dance". It was the most suitable time to know random people because during one part, we were doing this HUGE circle of "london bridge'' kinda thing, called the isle, where random people will just barge under your bridge when the music stops. Kinda cool how so many people were doing it. Absolutely had fun that night!

So much fun we were having, How can we not take pictures right?

Pictures below are not in chronological order x)
Enjoy!

Last Day.

The motto for UWA.

The whole of UWA is like this.

Filled with crafted walls.

Filled also with people doing art stuff.

Final Fantasy?

Not only that, but also with people who stares at art.

Most importantly.

So many trees!

There's even have this theater under the tree canopies for their Arts Festival!

Didn't photographed that tho, cause I wasn't in photographing mood then.

*peace*

Can you see the face?

The people I was hanging arund with didn't see it tho. O.o

This, I just do not know what it says.

First Day. International Buddies.

(Singapore and Vietnam)

At the Caversham Park!

That's a pooping wombat by the way.

I see this frog lying around u know.

Disgusting right?

A prickly Koala in the store.

The less poopy wombat.

What do call this again?

Furry Koalas.

Still loving these yellow signs x)

The KANGAROO!

The relaxing kangaroos.

The dead kangaroos. O.O

There just sleeping la~ xP

On the way home. My evil-ness stuck. Hence this picture! XD

Look At That!

Their drowsiness are just soo CUTE!

Cute, but scary claws!

The hunchback of the eucalypt tree.

Up Up and Away!

Sleeping. SO ADORABLE!

Tasmanian Devils DO EXIST!

Not brown like ...

... this tho.

They are scavengers!

GRAAAUUUH!

Peacock. AT UWA!

Like a bride's wedding dress!

The Albino Spesis. SO LUCKY!

How white?!

Lucky Friend found The Feather!

The whole 5 days were most enjoyable!

Can't wait to see how real college lessons are like!

2nd of Febuary!

See ya peeps soon!

Cheers!

Written by a guy.

2010-01-23T18:25:00.000-08:00

We guys don’t care if you talk to other guys. We don’t care if you’re friends with other guys. But when you’re sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn’t help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we’re still there. We don’t care if a guy calls >OR TEXTS< you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. That it can't wait till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're
pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong We'll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't
be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood I'm in. Let us pay for you! Don't 'feel bad'. We enjoy doing it. It's expected. Smile and say 'thank you.

Kiss us when no one's watching. If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us. If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.

We like you for who you are and not what you are. Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's, or my T-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily. Stop using magazines/media as your bible.

Don't talk about how hot Chris Brown, Brat Pitt, or Jesse McCartney in front of us. It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'? I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/stud/cutie/sexy' or whatever else you can think of.
On the other hand I'm not saying i wouldn't like it ether

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, don't wait for him to change! Ditch his sorry ass, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.
Someone who will honor your morals

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowes

Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.

Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.

Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes….and say 'i love you' ..and actually mean it.

Give the nice guys a chance.
Guys re-post this if you agree.
Girls re-post this if you think it's cute.
-Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will re- post this

ADVICE:

*Holding Hands
Girls :If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of times

*Movies
Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder
Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.

*Loving each other
Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too…
And mean it

*Laying below the stars
Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat
Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with her.

And Boys. If you like a girl, just
TELL THEM. There's nothing to be afraid of. And if you don't , you'll regret it your whole life. They might just like you back, take that chance, its worth it !

-Girls re-post as: written by a guy
-Guys re-post as: girls need to
realize

-If someone really really loves u and u break up, he or she will come back for you! because that's the beautiful part of True love!

Young and stupid. Growing... Growing... Grown!

2010-01-19T04:20:00.000-08:00

Oh my goodness!

Why did I ever forget all about my molecular genetics and biotechnology??

It has been like the first thing I've wanted to do when I actually thought about what I'll be studying next!

It's like *poof* totally forgot about it after my finals...

Now! Think imma say bye bye to chem engineering and hello to molecular biotech!

Muahahaha.... Gonna scare everyone with my achievements next time...

UH HUH! That's wat I'd like to do.. to do to unimaginable...
(but what if ah ma asks?? How the heck am I gonna explain?? Later she say bao yik do "ngiam tang" one how? OMG~ )

Wuhuu~ Can't wait till I really grow up! There's just so much I wanna do...Or should I say achieve?

Let's see, when bao yik is no underage anymore... she wants to...

-Get her driving licence (of course!)

-Make herself presentable at all times.
-Meet random people.
-Get crazy and have fun with whoever.

-Make people turn heads (not "oi! tissue stuck under ur shoe!" kind ) :D
-Graduate with a paper worth fortunes.

-Take pretty pretty pictures!

-Let people like and remember her. :))
-Find herself a satisfying job.
-Enjoy her job!

-Wow people at work? :D
-Drive in her own cool car. (need to save up for this!)

-Still make people turn heads.
-Get a comfy home to live in, fully equiped with what she needs. (current home is already comfy...but... hai~)
-Get maids to do all the house keeping =DD
-Be able to shop without considering whether she can afford for it. :P
-Spend time with papa mummy doing fun stuff.
-Go explore many countries.
-Do crazy stuff like bungee jumping.
-Have to limitations!
-Wow people everytime!

-Achieve more than half of this before a certain age. Say 30? Will alter with time =))

Super super!

Disturbia

2010-01-18T18:18:00.000-08:00

Good morning world!

I now return the joyful 581 who, when in high spirit, just feels like bragging about her day :D

She woke up considerably early this morning because... it's a secret... hehehe...

She apologizes for her rage two days ago.. She just felt... weird. Maybe she lacked attention?? Don't really know.. Don't mind her la! She was just being a spoilt brat :D

It's really weird however.. She just wanted to do one thing and nothing else at all. She just watched her movies and ignored everything else... Didn't even reply her messages... Sorry...

Anyways....

Back to the topic about ME!

After getting ready and all, she switched on the stupid air-flow, which would only work when air is let in the house (meaning not cool air at night cause all doors and windows need to be closed for safety purposes). She then moves towards the so-called "kitchen" to make herself a warm cup of milk, cause her tummy ain't feeling much well since the previous night.

Drinking the cup of milk made her feel much much better. So later, she decided to move her laptop out of the room so that Judy's sleep wouldn't be interrupted by her noisy typing (guai ba?! x] )

Upon switching on her lappy, she noticed that there wouldn't be anyone to chitty-chat with cause it was still so early in the morning. Hence, she had a change of mind to check out the few "cool stuff" her lappy comes with. It was then she learned the fun of taking pictures with the web cam :D

She now presents all of them relatively to how the whole thing went and came along.

Smiled cause she saw how funny the other scenes were.

Tried to smile but then her upper-lip disappears!

Shocked!
(how can the upper lip disappear? yeaw xiu ah?! xD )

Tries to show people her eyeballs. :D
(if u still cannot see, u can go ~~die~~ liao! *touch wood*)

The very sien kinda goldfish look...

*cries* cause kena attack by those who does the goldfish look. XD

Coming up with evil scheme to get back at them.

Oh no! U found out! Cham!

Nvm... It'd be just a sin-less Buddha smile now. Note the 善良 eye bags. XD

Hey!!

Have u guys seen my long lost twin-brother??

Suai leh?

(Gali till wanna puke ah!)

My ah gong with the in-est hairdo and mustache

My brother without his disgusting mustache.

*working..*

U still here?

Show u the annoying cat-clock face ah!

*tik tok tik tok*

k la~ Bye now!!
*shoo shoo*

hahaha... Fun fun fun!

米修！米修！

*Pffccchiiuuu~* in her spaceship..

Stop teleponing me.

2010-01-16T05:38:00.000-08:00

Hello, hello, baby;
You called, I can't hear a thing.
I have got no service
In the club, you see, see
Wha-Wha-What did you say?
Oh, you're breaking up on me
Sorry, I cannot hear you,
I'm kinda busy.

K-kinda busy
K-kinda busy
Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy.

Just a second,
It's my favorite song they're gonna play
And I cannot text you with
A drink in my hand, eh
You shoulda made some plans with me,
You knew that I was free.
And now you won't stop calling me;
I'm kinda busy.

Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna think anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.
Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna talk anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I'm busy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Can call all you want,
But there's no one home,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!
Out in the club,
And I'm sippin' that bud,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

Call when you want,
But there's no one home,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!
Out in the club,
And I'm sippin' that bud,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

[Beyonce:]
Boy, the way you blowin' up my phone
Won't make me leave no faster.
Put my coat on faster,
Leave my girls no faster.
I shoulda left my phone at home,
'Cause this is a disaster!
Callin' like a collector -
Sorry, I cannot answer!

Not that I don't like you,
I'm just at a party.
And I am sick and tired
Of my phone r-ringing.
Sometimes I feel like
I live in Grand Central Station.
Tonight I'm not takin' no calls,
'Cause I'll be dancin'.

'Cause I'll be dancin'
'Cause I'll be dancin'
Tonight I'm not takin' no calls, 'cause I'll be dancin'!

Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna think anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.
Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna talk anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.

Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna think anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.
Stop callin', stop callin',
I don't wanna talk anymore!
I left my head and my heart on the dance floor.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
I'm busy!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Stop telephonin' me!
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Can call all you want,
But there's no one home,
You're not gonna reach my telephone!
'Cause I'm out in the club,
And I'm sippin' that bud,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

Call when you want,
But there's no one home,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!
'Cause I'm out in the club,
And I'm sippin' that bud,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

My telephone!
M-m-my telephone!
'Cause I'm out in the club,
And I'm sippin' that bud,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

My telephone!
M-m-my telephone!
'Cause I'm out in the club,
And I'm sippin' that bud,
And you're not gonna reach my telephone!

We're sorry the number you have reached is not in service at this time.
Please check the number, or try your call again

Not as strong.

2010-01-16T03:27:00.000-08:00

O.O

What just happened?

It feels as if I'm suffering from autism. :(

... ...

I don't feel like myself.

I don't like myself.

I'm having depression as well?

????

.
.
.
.
.

It's weird how I feel disgusted about how public some people are being. It keeps appearing to me as something I'd turn my eyeballs at.

What wrong with it anyway? It isn't even my problem... Why do I care so much?

Is it because I'm being too jobless lately?

AhhH~

I don't wanna feel this way.

I feel like a naggy old hag this way.

Where's the company when you need some?

I'd fall into any shoulder I find now even if it's gay.

O.O

It feels as if I'm going bananas... One minute I'm laughing at what i heard, the other minute I'm so into fulfilling my dreams, another minute I feel mad at what I'm seeing.

What is this??

Craziness.

????

To hell with everything!

bye bye...?

2010-01-14T21:22:00.000-08:00

"Sien... had been feeling busy after waking up till before sleeping, but have no idea what she's so busy about. Didn't get to feel productive. Sien... " sighed the shoulder-devil.
.
.
.
.
It has been already 5 days since I've arrived in Perth. Spent the whole time with my sisters, going here going there, seeing this seeing that, buying this buying that...
.
.
.
It feels.. rather amusing... seeing stuff that you don't usually see in Brunei.
.
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But when I actually find the time to sit down and think about it, the feeling that I haven't been doing anything useful keeps haunting me. It's doesn't give me the enthusiasm to want to tell people about what I'm doing. Or maybe that's because I haven't really been doing anything??

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O.O
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Well, if u really wanna know, all that I've done for the past few days are just some furniture and grocery shopping and house chores, but mostly I'm just helping out. Things doesn't feel in place for me yet. Maybe I haven't get use to doing stuffs these ways yet. Hopefully, I'll get the hang of it soon.
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Oh, who cares anyway? Sien...
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Feeling this lack of energyt might be because of the sizzling hot weather. All I feel like doing is basically nothing in front of the fan, so I do not feel the intension of wanting to shower every 5 minutes.
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Hen sien ah....
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When can i finally feel great again?
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I wanna do something... I wanna switch of the stinkin' sun and bring in the breeze... Maybe that way, i can get to do my stuff right again.... x@
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BYE BYE!

A whole new look!

2010-01-08T06:54:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone,

It's the OFFICIAL OPENING of a totally different skin for my blog!

Despite the "bloody" red look...I adore how cozy it feels.

All the stuffs on my header are what I had been liking, and I kinda like the way it appeared~

This skin is somewhat like how my very first skin was, remember? It's red too!

It kinda has the warmth I would wanna feel when I need some. =))
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What do you think about it?

I'd be please to hear from you guys!

So, tag like there's no tomorrow people! :DD
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ciao~

x.x

2010-01-04T01:38:00.000-08:00

It's the very 1st day of school of 2010 but I ain't going to school to study.

OH YEAH! =D

Although so, I still gotta wake up freakin' early to do a lil' business with our "juniors".

( wow, i never felt so much of being a senior until now xD )

Yeap, woke up dang early to sell me books!

Business went well, I must say. Thanks to our "guai guai" juniors xP

This is small money~

I gotta wake up as early tomorrow because there are still some unfinished business I gotta carry on. Other than busniess, my peeps decided to go do some hiking at Tasek. I feel as if I have got nothing better to do, so I agreed to tag along as well. Hehe...

I do love the green tho...

This is truly news! I, 581, is actually going to do some exercise. How unlikely of me. Cause usually, i would just prefer to catch some "zee"s rather than to sweat. Noone would wanna touch me or get in my way when I'm unwillingly sweating. I'll blow up, I tell u. U'll catch me saying " bu yao dong wo!" in a very unfriendly manner. But oh, what the heck, selling books in school doesn't totally mean there's no sweating going on. So imma just let it sweat let it sweat let it sweat~ ( this I won't catch fire cause I know I want to. =) )

Actually, i wasn't here to brag about my day.

(note that my title doesn't even mean anything about what I've written above)

I just feel the need to tell people that....

I just woke up from my half an hour nap and that I'm freezing!

In addition to that fact is that my mind status was just plain "... ... "

How sad is that? =(

I don like feeling jobless. It kills me!

And that is why I blogged
.

Oh, my life is SOOOOO interesting! Don't envy it! XD

Ok, I'm off to kill boredom and I desperately need to find warmth!

Blogging kinda heated me up a little, but I need MORE!

(always wanting more xP )

Then again, i don wanna sweat...

Cause as I said, me and sweating... Big temper explosion. (ask my friends xD )

*Peace Everybody*

2009-12-30T20:34:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!
I'm here to brag about how good I felt yesterday. Hahaha~
I finally filled my day with loads more than just doing basically NOTHING like all the other days of my holiday...

Let's see...
First, I woke up late.
( I always wake up late these days since I have nothing better to do,so I decided to catch up with my sleep :))
Then, I went to have lunch with mama and mei mei.
It was then we talked about mei mei's broken ear piece.
So, we walked all the way to the mall to buy her one.
It kinda became a day I spent with my mei mei. Haha.
She won herself a ball thingy from me... That zap zap ball they sell in bit computers.
Haha...
Then I have to entertain her by bringing her to the arcade.
Then we jalan jalan lo...
Then on the way back.. I saw a tukang kasut so I asked if they can fix my bag which had a broken handle since a loong time ago.
And apparently they can!
So I brought it over there and showed them but they insisted that i should just get the whole handle changed which will cost me a freakin' $35.
So I decided not to let them do it.
Mummy suggested someone just infront of the office...
He so kindly charged me only $1 per part he needs to sew.
So in total, I just need to pay him $4.
Haha... See the difference? $35 and $4 eh...
Felt "weehee" after that.
Later me and my da jie relearn photoshop. Haha. Had fun there too!
And the rest of the day are kinda the same as all the other days~

I'm blogging right now, cause I still have time before I need to head over to the mall to meet up with my friends. Xue yu's leaving real soon so let this be a last gathering for the few of us~

haha... Way to spend my time ey?! Haha

Guess I've written enough rubbish here for one day now.
I'll say bye now!

BYE!

A letter to heaven. stamped

2009-12-29T01:36:00.000-08:00

"Flowers are most prettiest when they are given away..."

Dear Ah Ma,

How have you been?

I'm just casually writing this letter to you because I feel like reconnecting back with you again.

Hehe..

I'm wondering, however tho, whether you know that...

...flashbacks of the things we used to do still appears in my mind time after time?

...there are no words suitable enough to describe how special you were?

...I have been and always will be missing you?

I do hope that...

...in the hearts of whom you brought joy to is where you will forever stay.

I'll will always remember how great of an artist you were whenever I hold onto a pencil as it waltz across the page.

With lots of love from your granddaughter,

宝一.

Who am I to you?

2009-12-27T20:11:00.000-08:00

I couldn’t sleep last night because I was bothered by some crazy thoughts... Hence I wrote everything down to be blogged the next day to make myself feel better like always. This is how it goes...

“I do not doubt a bit of the love and care my parents have towards us 5 children. I mean... c’mon, we get the things without even asking for it,we do not have to do any hard, sweaty work, we barely need to worry about anything when they are around. What more can a child from this kind of family ask for again?

However, at times, I just wonder whether I have any affect upon their lives. Will they feel any different from when I'm present to when I'm absent? Do I have a purpose to be in their lives or am I just somebody who's presence doesn't really matter? hmm....

I don/t wanna be just a passer-by in your lives.

There are three adults in my life that I dare not disrespect or disobey. Therefor, I did whatever I could to fulfill their commands, especially to the two of them - my parents. The other, my grandma... I just do not dare to leave a single bad impression on her already old but nevertheless active mind. However tho... I'm still indulged in the thought of whether I'm anyone special to them. To me, I'm just someone ordinary, someone really normal, someone who just isn't outstanding enough I guess. Could I be wrong?

Really normal ey?!

Wanting to leave only good images of me upon their minds, I've always did the very best I can. I've pushed myself to the limits to excel both academically and personality-wise. I take every one of their advises very seriously and dare not disagree with the "lessons" they so-generously bestowed upon us. All these are what I’ve doing just hoping to find myself a spot in their pre-occupied hearts. Are my results satisfying enough to earned myself that spot? Somehow, it feels like I have to work much more harder. Or have I worked towards a wrong direction? I'm not sure....

Can I ever be #1?

I'm not saying they haven't been good to me or anything. In fact I believe they've already been the best they could be and I'll be considered greedy to ask for more. It's just that... Have I done anything to make myself special to them?

Outstanding.

I'm the forth daughter among my siblings. My sisters, being un-selfishly helpful, listens and gives good advise to mum when she's upset, being superwoman-ly independent, being hard to handle at times but can be the sweetest and most caring towards people or otherwise the one who makes us laugh through boring times, or simply just being the noisiest and the energy of the party when present... they seem to all have something extra special to be reminded of. My question here now is "what will i be remembered for?".

For being an abstract.

Despite the obvious decrease in family member in the house and just being book-smart (I'd rather be street-smart =( ), which I think are the only 2 things that I can be remembered for, is there anything else I've done for anyone of you to miss me for when I'm gone?

I've been so caught up in doing everything right and trying to be like others , I've forgotten to stand out from the shadows, making myself nothing more than just a member of the family.

Something more than just a shadow.

Let's take for instance... if I were to become mad at anyone of them, I don't think they would even notice that I've became mad. It would be merely a thing to be sad of to them if I stayed mad at them. I'm just not that powerful to affect their lives i assume... Maybe not to mummy but maybe to daddy and granny...

I know they have been doing their best to give us the best. This has nothing to do with their care towards us. It's just a question I've been longing to ask... Who am I to them? Maybe they are surrounded by too many children and grandchildren and hence I've just became less noticeable..

Do you know how it feels to be just a somebody, how it feels like when your voice just happens to be one of the crowd’s many voices and it just contributes to the noise? That is exactly how I DO NOT want to feel like. I do not want my voice to be called noise. I want my voice to be heard. I want to just stand out from the crowd and be noticed, don’t we all?

The only way I can think of now is to spark up my career when I actually have one in the near future since school results were merely a piece of dust to them... I wanna be someone none of the relatives are. The occupations I’m looking at has to be far beyond what the average Bruneian can do. It’s gotta be special at the same time important enough to earn me some big $$. The idea of a bomb engineer started tinkling in my mind since it landed itself on my mind because it sounds way cooler and much more SPECIAL than chem engineer. Working for the MOD has also earned itself a place in my “to be list” but whatever my choice is, it has to come with good $$. That way I can be at one thing more special, in a positive way, than the others. I even decided to like guns and all just to be different from others... But apparently they only interest me once in a blue moon. Oops. Haha. Anyways, back to what I'll be... My last words will just be.... "Wahahahaha. Let me surprise my own self with what I'll become one day!"

He has a cool job? Remember him?

Psstt..To tell you the truth...I noticed how much I like surprising people with what I can do. That way people can remember me for something. That's why I like to make something that I can call my own. I wouldn’t call designing something I enjoy doing. I just like the joy it brings me. =D

He's from Blue's Clues!

One of where I learn how to draw.

But the root of all these craziness is just to find myself some room in my 3 most respected people’s heart...hope one day i will.

Heart,

The shadow (who can one day stand out !). ”

Funny.... Why do I even think of these? There should be much more important stuff to be bothered in life than this piece of crazy junk. I shouldn’t let anything like this bother my sleep. Haha, how unbelievable people can be at times...

Oh well, at least that’s one thing off my mind now. =)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

SKEPTICISM

2009-12-25T20:34:00.000-08:00

Can anyone survive without being a little skeptical?
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Look at the world today...
Don't you think it helps being that way?
It does right!?
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However, when skepticism is being played on you, you just wouldn't like it...
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If that's the case, how should people be?
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Be skeptical or not be skeptical?
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If anyone was to be called perfect, what do you think are the characteristics they should have?
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Are they skeptical or are they not?
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I wonder...
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I can be very skeptical, I must say.
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Is it good or is it bad?
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I need an answer.
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.581_ leaves here.

Zombie~

2009-12-22T22:05:00.000-08:00

3 more weeks and I'll be on my way to a totally different place, YES, marking the begining of a whole new chapter in my life. Frankly speaking, I do not feel anything, not a thing at all, at this stage. I haven't start to miss anybody, not even pressured or anxious about going to be in a whole new environment. I feel like a zombie that way, am I one?

The very weird part is I haven't start to feel 舍不得 towards anything, not even towards family nor freinds not to mention them close ones. WHY? I'm officially calling my self not-normal for that. Have I been too stubborn for not facing my feelings too often till I've already forgotten to feel emotional when I'm suppose to?

I've always taught myself to not feel the bad feelings i.e. sad, angry etc. since that great moment of my life when I decided that I shall not shed a tear unless for extreme conditions. This I gotta give credit to my dad because he was the one who made me not want to be a cry baby no more by simply saying " There's nothing to cry about. It's not like u're suffering dreadfully or losing anything." ( I do not know the reason why I teared just because dad starts to say things to me with his serious face. I guess i was just frightened. haha, I cry because I'm frightened. How much of a kid I was back then. XD )

Being strong is what I think I've been trying to do. I loathe it when people say I appear to them as someone weak because to me, it means easily bullied, which in my dictionary means useless. Useless, not meaning can't do anything right but in the sense that you can't even protect yourself and be an independant individual.

I don't cry during emotional scenes.
I choose to not get mad when my parents say stuff that are "ear-sore"-ing (lectures? I consider them lessons learnt tho ppl might catagorise them as those loso talks.)
I 苦中作乐 as much as possible when happiness is not what I'm feeling.
I try to make myself and people in front of me think that I'm sincerely laughing even when things really start to seriously annoy me.

Feeling bad, to me, is kinda like a waste of enery and time so I'd call out the "Happy" in me to replace the sad me when feeling down. I'd always convince myself that I can do it, I can control my emotions, I can make myself smile when I want to even when sadness strikes.

When u aren't feeling good u can always make urself think u are, so u feel better no? I believe that it is all just the work of the mind. There's nothing a little 意志力 can't do. If you say you can, you will definately can!

.... But somehow I feel that this isn't right... Feels like zombie. Have I been too strong for my own good? Or is it just that I'm too lazy to feel bad?! Feeling bad can be really tiring no?

... ...

I like to think. I like to let my brain turn and turn, connecting as much neurons together as possible by means of active synapses. There are certain conclusions I've made during these little
"thinking moments'' of mine and one of them are as follows.

In life, there surely will be things happening that will put u in the dumps, makes you down, because we meet obstacles and all.. It's all part of the game called LIFE. They are very similar to the bad guys u meet in an action-packed game. In order to defeat these "bad guys" in the game of life, I trust that we just have to feel the opposite of what they want us to feel, then they will surely lose till die die (输到死死) !

So why feel the way these "bad guys" wants us to feel? Of course you can feel bad at the begining, but you should come to your senses soon enough and not let the bad feelings haunt your every waking moment so that you won't be kickass-ed by the "bad guys".

All the above makes complete sense to me and that is why I zombie-fy myself when necessary. But at this moment, when people starts asking me "How do you feel now that you're be leaving so soon? ,"Miserable?" , "会舍不得吗？" and being all my answers are " I feel nothing." and "No.", I kinda think I'm being too much of a zombie...Could it be that I've became one or is it that it is still early, or even worse, im too lazy to feel that way? O.O

However, strangely, being in my dad's office these days and seeing how busy and troubled life can get, I kinda feel there's much more to life and that there is no need for me to feel these "nonsenses". Being able to think this is nonsense... is it the way a zombie thinks?

Hmm...

signing off now.

love,
The Confused Zombie.

Let's talk pictures today!

2009-12-06T18:55:00.000-08:00

Here Mel, this is the "rock mel" fragrance I saw... Hahaha... Just ignore that dot at the bottom of the exclamtion mark and it'd be the perfect gift for you... Haha... Speaking bout gifts... I haven't given u yours. Yay~ that means we can go out for at least one more time! :D

Cool no? So ngam ah~! haha
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I happened to come across loads of interesrting pictures while trying to find the perfect background for me phone. However, me found that the pictures are more blog-worthy, so imma just share them with y'all with little bits of caption of me-own :D (that is if anyone's actually reading me 'blaogh')

*p.s. Ignore me weird writing style today.. Just suddenly feel like being a pirate xD WHAT?! At least I think I sound like one~ teehee!*
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Click click.
Take a ~~pic~~ peek~

Picture no. 1:

Guys out there... You know what to do now :D

Picture no. 2-5:
Girls like to be spoilt. So spoil us x] (a)

:D

Picture 6-11:
Girls can be naturally dangerous. So don't try them x]

Picture 12-14:
We like tricking you and making you bananas. (not sure bout others but I do x] )

Picture 15:
Being random is cool (in my case :D )

Picture 16-17:
If you wanna be with someone, don't try to change somebody.

xD

Picture 18:
The A+ answer to
•"what do you do when nothing goes right?".

•"why we should not do our homeworks."

(y)

Picture 19:
I'm not stupid, I'm just..

Picture 20-22:
What's friends to you?

Picture 23-27:
It's the red thing that gives you diabetes.

NOT! Hehehehe~

Picture 28:
A little question I can't answer myself.. Can u?

-and now u come to the beautiful, spectacular, astounding, amazing, incredible, unforgetful, marvelous, grand, stupendous...

~END~

xoxo,
581.

Facebook.

2009-12-03T07:39:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or is facebook where most of the people hang out these days?
I donno about you, but I constantly find people being ridiculously active on facebook.
Active in the sence that they are always there commenting and replying comments immediately whenever something new comes up.

For someone who has just recently joined the crowd (Facebook-ing), facebook is just where I find out what people are up to. I don't do posts day after day, but I do wonder how people can get anybody to comment so much on something like " :) " or " xxx is dozing off." No being sarcastic, it's actually kinda nice to know that people cares to give a comment or a "like" to what u are doing or something u posted up.
It makes people feel warm and not alone!

I find facebook... erm... "whao"-able for it can make things like this happen.
It's like u can share stuff with people far and wide even when u are actually by your own lonesome self.
Haha... Is that good or is that creepy?

I actually found myself laughing by myself while checking out and posting up comments of my peeps in the living room one night with my mom wondering , at one side, why I was laughing when the tv was showing some emotional crying scene. How creepy is that? Haha.
However, it is kinda nice creeping people out once in a while.. It makes you look strange, or in my dictionary, special (weird) enough to be noticed xD

Well, I'm not anyone to rate for the things that Facebook can do, but if I gotta chance to meet up with Mr. Creatoroffacebook, I'd shake his
hands and point two thumbs up to his geeky face (Is he geeky or is he not?) for creating something that makes the world small enough for friends to enjoy each other, both oral and picture-wise, through the amazing Internet. Hey wait, I gotta show some love to Mr. Founderofinternet too that way! Haha. Good job internet, tho u kinda piss me off sometimes for being insanely-slow. I blame that on my country :D *peace, I don't mean for a war!*

"life is short, enjoy it the pictures below."
They are worth a laugh x]

oh well. I've been stopped by authorities. xD
Toodles~!
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xoxo,
581

Pictures tell a million words

2009-12-02T02:42:00.000-08:00

First, look at this picture.

What do you think it is?

Someone praying?

Can you see the face?

Haha...

It's just Ferrero Rocher's chocalate wrap only la

NEW: Dark Chocolate (Y)

Okay, back to those SINGAPORE pictures i promised the last time.

swollen eyes.

Don't ask...

Didn't sleep well the previous night.

All smokers should own this!

Are you sure Cindy?

With Mr.P's dustbin.

At the fake roller coaster ride.

4D smth smth...

Ear-muffs x]

snapped as fast as possible too avoid shop-assistance :D

By far, my most-favourite-est christmas tree!

see why?

YES. They are made of TEDDY BEARS!

Cute?!

Takashimaya has cute stuffs :

The next big thing was...

GRADUATION DAY
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Yeah! So happy X)

Yeepee! As happy as ever!

Happy happy happy...

Still happy happy happy~

Now I'm with Happi. :D

I like this colour XD

Feel like those big production stage dramas no?

Or i think too much? Haha...

Way to show our appreciation of the certs (Y)

hahaha!

Me and my gateway to the future :D

Aww~ Gonna miss you guys =(

Aww~ We get noisy together~ Miss that too!

Ah Huh! Here you guys are!

haha...

Definately missing you guys too!

PROM NIGHT

My favourite picture of that night!

Ah~ My current wallpaper ^^

So dark.. it's as if ur head's floating xP

hahaha... i wonder why we were sticking together?!

Vicky's really pretty that night ^^

You go girl!

It's 24k gold and genuine eagle's eye yo!

I feel in love with this pretty cupcakes!

Wish I can own them...

But ants will come...

oh well...

(haha.. wth?!)

That's all!

xoxo,

581

Out, away and back!

2009-11-20T18:19:00.000-08:00

Wow whao! Who would have thought that exams were only over for 1 week?! I feel as if it has already been a month or so thanks to all the fun I was having the past few days!

Can you believe it?
I, 581, actually went on holiday WITHOUT my family or any guardian to watch over my clumsy not to mention forgetful self at all! (At least that was how my mummy describes me xP) How cool was that? I am so proud to tell the whole world that I SURVIVED!

Despite the yicky toilet that we had to share with the other people staying in that unit, (because we decided to save $$ from accomodation so that we have more to spent on shopping ), everything was kinda awesome... Tho I had to admit I didn't manage to fully charge my "battery" for the first night, cause I was squashed! Haha... But for the next two nights, I grew smart. I decided to be the first one to go to bed so I can actually feel comfortable and then sleep like a baby later x) I think some of the others were cramping at the other side one night... Sorry. But hey, 风水轮流转, so... Can't complain much (jk. xD)

Other than going to sentosa, the rest of the trip was all shopping, shopping and SHOPPING! Don't be fooled. Didn't really shop like crazy, we shopped smart ;) (I think so.) haha... Nothing much actually~ Gotta say it was quite an enjoyable and unforgetable experience going to a foreign country with friends. But going with family always has it's advantages! :D

Ah, as for pictures... I guess it'd have to wait till the next post. Need to do resizing again using pc... Hai~
Ciao~!

581