You might have to tear me apart to make me admit how many times I've wished you were by my side. You will never guess how many times I've actually dreamt about you and really wished you were physically here with me. I hate you but myself even more because I want you so badly but it will cost me me too much courage so I just have to never let you know. I know its been ages but why don't you just come talk to me already? Are you waiting just like how I'm waiting too? Do you miss me the way I do so insanely for you too? I hope you'd never see this but I hope you'll feel me whenever I actually think about you.
I know and do admit fully that it's probably all my fault and deserve all these for the way I've acted towards you ; but I do hope you'd just trust that I was going thru very tough and "ugly" phase that I'd never wanna share with you. If all that have led you on to another path of your life which you are happier living in now, I'd wish nothing else but the best for you. I just don't think I can ever move on if you'd never tell me whether there's anything else left for us to hold on to.
Yes, it will kill me to talk to you. So ki me maybe?
